


We're Alone Now

by frapandfurious, squire



Series: Big Brothers AU [9]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dancing, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Modern Zouk, Only not in words, contemporary ballet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-30 01:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10866093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious, https://archiveofourown.org/users/squire/pseuds/squire
Summary: Two people, dancing. It can have so many meanings. Profession, performance, competition, fight, flirt, love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another collab of ours for this verse (at this point it's not likely we ever stop!) Frapandfurious wrote the lovely first part, squire is guilty of the second part. 
> 
> Title taken from 'Retrograde' by James Blake.

The venue was packed, but Rey had secured good seats for them. She’d always had a way of getting the best deal, talking and bargaining her way to what she wanted; so much like her father. It was a mid-size theater, with rows of seating in the back half and round tables and dining chairs occupying the front half, closest to the stage.

Any other day they’d be content with regular seats, or hanging out backstage. But this wasn’t any regular day. It was Hux’s birthday, and Rey insisted they get a table.

The moment Ben realized he had a performance the evening of Hux’s birthday he began apologizing profusely, and continued to apologize at least once a week since. Hux had hushed him, reassured him that 32 wasn’t exactly a milestone, that he worked during the day anyway, that they could do something on the weekend. But Ben wouldn’t let it go, reminding Hux that it was the first birthday since they’d got married nearly eight months ago. It was  _ important _ to him.

So they did what they always did: they made it work. That morning, Ben made him a 6 a.m. breakfast-in-bed of waffles with strawberries and whipped cream which he’d kissed from Hux’s lips. He’d texted Hux once an hour all day while he was at work, tacky heart-eyed emojis and gushing endearments which made Hux roll his eyes, mostly, and blush a little too.

After work, Hux picked up Rey and Techie from the Solos’ and took them to the theater, roughly an hour from home. Ben would meet up with them afterwards and take Hux for a late dinner. Then they’d stay the night in a hotel, while Rey and Techie would catch a ride home with Riz and Manu, as they often did.

So there they were, at the table Rey had procured for them, nibbling on some hors d'oeuvres as they waited.

Finally, the lights dimmed and the curtains lowered. The audience clapped politely as the dancers appeared on stage, and the show began.

As always, Hux kept his eyes on Ben every moment he was onstage. He never tired of watching the movement and strength of his husband’s body or the intensity on his face. Ben was like a supernova, exploding from his core in bursts of beautiful, wild energy. Watching him made Hux swell with pride, and he felt a rush to know that the fluid being who captivated everyone in the room slept beside  _ him _ every night, and kissed  _ him _ awake in the morning.

For the final number, the stage started out pitch black. Then, slowly, it was illuminated by single beams of light in different colors, each one highlighting a pair of dancers where they stood frozen in various poses. It only took a quick sweep across them for Hux to spot Ben and his partner, in a beam of red.

The music started, and they began to move.

For this dance, the KOR had partnered up with another group called Resistance and Flow, referred to by many as simply the Resistance. As soon as it began, Hux could understand why. While both groups were made up of all men, the Knights of Ren were all much like Ben: tall and thickly built. For this routine, a contemporary ballet full of lifts and dips, they needed smaller partners, and the Resistance members fit the bill: lithe, lean, seemingly weightless in the arms of their corresponding KOR partners.

The dance started with everyone moving at once in unison to the slow, almost eerie instrumental music. The colored lights shifted and blurred together around them, a watercolor painting in motion, until it merged together in the center in a single, white circle of light.

One by one, each pair had their moment in the spotlight while the rest stepped back into the shadows. The music changed for each duet, one rapid and rhythmic, full of drum beats, the next light and airy, another orchestral and triumphant. Each expressing a different theme or story. After each pair, the audience whooped and cheered.

Ben and his partner were last. Ben’s partner was nearly a foot shorter than him, and incredibly slim. Their song was a sorrowful violin piece, about loss and longing. Slow, sensual, and it was reflected in the movements, swaying hips and sweeping arm gestures and graceful dips.

It…was…lovely, really. Very…touching, Hux supposed. Lots…and lots…of touching.

On Ben’s part, it was mostly tactical in nature: hands on hips for a lift, or hands clasped for a spin. He put passion into it, as he did with everything, but it was all clearly performance, showy and dramatic but ultimately without any real feelings.

His  _ partner _ , however…

His partner was taking full advantage of the sensual nature of the music. His hands roamed more than Hux felt was entirely necessary, his touches lingered far too long, a couple times his lips were mere inches from Ben’s face. His expression was practically reverent.

Hux’s pulse thudded in his ears. He ran his left thumb over the wedding band on his finger again and again, like a genie’s lamp, and  _ oh _ if he could wish for one thing right now it would be to remove that handsy bastard from  _ his husband _ right this second…

To his right, Rey had stopped watching to fix her eyes on Hux’s face instead. She was sporting a gleeful little smirk, waiting. Any moment now, Hux was sure to scowl, or avert his eyes,  _ something _ .

As the dance went on, her smile faded. Hux was the model of a perfect audience member.  _ Too _ perfect, in fact. His face was unreadable as his eyes followed the pair onstage, his posture relaxed. He took casual sips of his drink, applauded along with everyone else at the trickier maneuvers. No one watching would have believed he was married to the man who was being practically groped on stage.

_ Rey _ could scarcely believe it, and she’d been in the damn wedding. She turned to Techie, eyes fierce, until he felt the weight of her gaze and turned to look at her.

“What’s wrong?”

She gestured towards Hux with a little jerk of her head, frown deepening. Techie looked at his brother and a grin split across his face.

“Ben is in for it tonight,” he whispered into Rey’s ear.

“ _ What _ ?!” Her head whipped back and forth between Techie and Hux, twice, as if checking to make sure they were looking at the same person. “It’s like he doesn’t even  _ care! _ ”

Techie smiled fondly at her. Of all the people who might need protecting, her six-foot-three, muscular brother wasn’t a likely candidate, yet Rey took on the role with pride, even now. And she’d begrudgingly accepted Hux as her brother-in-law, loved him, even, in her own way, but she had still not learned to read him the way Techie could.

Now that Rey and Techie were “going steady”, as Han put it, he felt comfortable letting her in on some of Hux’s tells.

“Look at his foot,” Techie said, leaning in. Rey did, and found it tapping agitatedly on the floor, the sound masked by the music. “And his left hand.” And there Rey saw the motion of Hux’s thumb rubbing the ring, over and over. “And his eyes.” She looked, and now that she was looking, she could make out a slight pinch to his brows.

He  _ was _ jealous.

Rey  _ beamed _ , and Techie rolled his eyes and prodded the remaining food on their shared plate towards her. He was allergic to most of it, anyway.

The dance finally ended and Hux stood with the rest of the audience to applaud as the dancers lined up and bowed. Then they retreated backstage, and Rey tugged at Hux and Techie to follow.

Backstage was a bustle of activity as dancers gathered their things and greeted friends and family. Ben spotted them immediately and weaved through the crowd to greet them.

The moment he was within reach, Hux grabbed the front of his shirt tightly in one hand and  _ pulled _ him into a firm kiss. Behind them, Rey and Techie groaned and scurried off to pester Pete, or Mike, or  _ anyone _ else who wasn’t their brothers.

Hux pulled back slowly, lingering. He almost  _ hoped _ that other dancer was watching, but he didn’t bother to look and find out. It didn’t matter when Ben’s eyes blinked open, dazed, and a crooked grin spread across his face.

“Is it your birthday, or mine?” he joked, leaning in for another.

Something in Hux’s expression stopped him. He tilted his head, eyes flickering over Hux’s face.

“Did you…like the show?”

“Yes,” Hux responded calmly. He stepped closer, predatory. “Well. Mostly. I wasn’t so sure about that last routine…”

Ben blinked at him. Realization dawned on his face and he ducked his head sheepishly.

“I talked to him about the…the…all of  _ that _ , in practice. I really thought he’d fucking  _ behave _ once we were on stage…”

The blood in Hux’s veins felt like lava coursing through him. To think that this had happened every time they practiced, that it had clearly made Ben uncomfortable…

Hux took Ben’s chin in his hand and tilted his face up.

“We’re going to the hotel. Now.”

“What about dinner? Aren’t you hungry?”

“Yes.” Hux leaned in close. “I am.”

 

*

 

The moment the hotel room door clicked shut behind them, Ben expected to be pounced, the way Hux had done upon returning to their apartment when he got home from Iraq.

Instead of that, Hux methodically removed their coats and shoes. He was frighteningly calm and patient, but something dangerous was simmering under the surface. He pointed towards the bed with one hand, the other beginning to loosen his tie.

“Clothes off. On the bed, on your back.”

The commanding tone in Hux’s voice sent a shiver down Ben’s spine. Often, Hux preferred Ben to take charge, lift him up, pin him down, surround him. Clearly this was not one of those nights.

Ben did as he was told and undressed. Hux watched, slowly undressing himself as well. Their eyes were locked, the air between them electric, charged with anticipation.

Once he was settled on the bed, Ben again looked to Hux for guidance. Hux’s gaze swept over him hungrily; his tie hung loosely from the fingers of one hand.

“Arms above your head.”

Ben swallowed thickly, eyeing the tie. He did as he was told.

Hux climbed onto the bed and straddled his stomach. He leaned forward and looped the tie around Ben’s wrists before securing it to the head of the bed. It was loose enough to wiggle a bit but no more, and Ben pouted a little at being unable to touch his husband. Hux loomed over him, propped up with his hands on either side of Ben’s head.

“You’re mine tonight.”

“I’m yours every night.” Ben grinned roguishly and tried to roll his hips up to meet Hux’s. Hux wasn’t having it; he grasped them and pushed them down, pinning Ben to the bed.

“It’s my birthday,” Hux reminded him. “Will you give me what I want?”

“Anything,” Ben breathed.

And so Hux took his time with him, touching him reverently all over, firm sweeps of his hands and strokes with his fingertips, spending extra time in the places he’d watched  _ someone else _ put their hands there. He pressed his love into every inch of Ben’s skin with kisses and sucks and gentle bites. He whispered to him, words of affection he normally saved for the tender moments late at night or early in the morning.

Ben sighed and gasped and writhed; towards the end, he was practically begging. But he did not once complain. Hux suspected he knew exactly what this was about, and so he gave up all control and let Hux stake claim to his body.

By the time they both finished, Ben was an incoherent mess, Hux’s name the only discernible word out of his mouth. Hux undid the tie, rubbed the circulation back into Ben’s hands, and dropped down onto his back beside him, both of them panting.

“Was that good?” Hux finally whispered.

“Mhmmm.” Ben’s eyes were closed.

“Do you feel alright?”

“Mmm.”

Hux chewed on his lower lip. “You’re sure? It wasn’t…too much?”

Ben mumbled something and rolled over with a groan, flopping on top of Hux like a warm duvet. He began planting lazy kisses the nearest bit of Hux to his lips, which happened to be his collarbone. Hux huffed fondly, relaxing under the reassuring weight of his husband.

He brought one hand up to run through Ben’s mussed hair, shifting to get more comfortable. As he did, his other hand brushed something that had slipped down when Ben rolled over.

It was the tie. Hux lifted it, about to toss it off the bed, when he noticed something.

The tie had torn, starting along a seam and then across nearly to the other end, hanging on by only a thin strip of the silky fabric.

Hux stared at it, bewildered. Then his heart swelled. At some point, Ben had broken out of the improvised restraints, but hadn’t said anything. He’d kept up the act for Hux’s sake, because he knew Hux needed it. Because he loved Hux that much, and trusted him to take care of him.

Hux tossed the tie aside and curled his arms around his husband. Ben was still kissing him, though the kisses had grown slow and sloppy as Ben started to doze off.  _ This _ wasn’t a performance. This was just Ben – his Ben – who shared his name, his home, his life. Who he, no one else, got to hold at the end of the day, when they were finally alone.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of January and beginning of February rolled by in the hectic way it always did, the regular schedule of Hux’s lectures at the Academy disrupted by exam period. Staring at the desk calendar in his office, Hux mentally counted days remaining till the beginning of March. Not much time - but he still could do it. If he found a willing teacher…

The plan began to hatch in his head some time after his birthday - respectively, after coming to terms with his own reaction to seeing someone else dancing with Ben… like _that_. He knew, rationally, that for Ben the performance was just that - a performance. A show. Dancers had to be professional. The “love” onstage had about as much in common with the real emotion as corn syrup has with blood.

But he also knew that dance was Ben’s life. And if there was a way to combine these two… Hux was determined to find it.

Setting up a meeting with Pete - the KOR’s second in command - without Ben’s knowledge was trickier than it seemed but Hux managed.

“You know,” Pete remarked eventually, after he’d run Hux through some basic steps around the studio the KOR used to teach pair dancing and took a couple of minutes to think it through, “it will be a bit like Dancing with the Stars but I think we’ll make it.”

And so Hux found himself once again drilled and grilled - but instead of marching tall and straight to the sound of brass music, he now learned how to bend and prowl to a much more sensual rhythm.

*

 

“The Knights want to take me out for my birthday,” Ben started tentatively one evening, clearly unhappy about it. “Some dance club, brazilian music they said… not performing, just hanging out and chilling. We used to, when the guys were still in college… but I know I already busted your birthday with that collab gig and–”

“Of course we can go,” Hux said easily. Not too eagerly, it wouldn’t do to spring the trap too early. “We can get some food there, can’t we?”

“And we can always slip out later,” Ben grinned, even though he still sounded a little unsure. He knew Hux wasn’t one for a whole evening of idle standing at the bar, and brazilian music wasn’t exactly conducive to the kind of club dancing moves Hux seemed to enjoy time to time.

“It’s your birthday,” Hux said reassuringly. “I’m sure it will be fun. Rey and Techie will love it, too.”

 

*

 

The club was fairly crowded when they arrived, lambada songs followed by salsa, half of the Knights already on the dance floor. Rey and Techie took to mingling around. They kept themselves mostly close to the ceiling-to-floor mirrors that lined two of the adjacent walls, creating a headache-inducing effect if one kept looking too long. Ben noticed that they didn’t dance and vaguely thought he’d have to do something about that.

Hux ordered them drinks. Ben had barely sipped from his when he noticed Hux was placing his glass back onto the bar, empty. He cringed - Hux was obviously hating this place and only counting on alcohol to pull him through the night. It wouldn’t do. Ben tried to look over the crowd to locate Pete or Mike - just anyone - to tell them they’d be leaving soon, but couldn’t see anyone. Worse still, when he turned back to Hux’s stool, he found it already occupied by another customer, minding their own drink and sweeping over Ben with only a half-interested glance.

Unnerved, Ben tried to catch a glimpse of red hair in the crowd. Right at that moment Mike materialized out of nowhere, grabbing Ben’s elbow and pulling hard enough to make him trip and almost fall face-first onto the floor.

“Hey, boss!” Mike boomed, uncaring. “You gotta see this - Pete’s gonna show off!”

“I really don’t–” Ben started but his words were cut short by another hard shove between his shoulder blades. He stumbled forward, between the crowd that mysteriously parted before him until he found himself at the edge of a circle of onlookers - all watching and cheering on Pete. Who was dancing slow contemporary zouk with… Hux.

Ben could feel his jaw drop open. Hux had swapped the button-up he’d put on at home for a loosely fitting tank-top, leaving his arms bare and so slim in comparison with Pete’s bulk. They both held his arms in perfect open hold, hips rocking and steps flowing, going in wide circles around each other, and Ben marveled at the easy movements, how perfectly in sync they were. The song accompanying them wasn’t even a traditional Brazilian music, it was something down-beat and modern instead, a hummed melody that Ben felt like he should know… but right now, he couldn’t remember if he tried.

“ _You’re on your own_ ”, the first verse came, and suddenly Hux spun out of Pete’s hold and came to a halt a step before Ben, somehow fitting right into Ben’s arms, raised on instinct.

If Ben wasn’t already in love, he’d fallen for Hux right then and there. Stunned, he stared down into Hux’s upturned face, so familiar with the tiniest smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth and yet so new with those gold-framed eyes, full of intent and joyous pride - and a little flutter of insecurity hiding beneath it all. Ben’s breath grew shorter with every inch of distance between them as Hux pressed close, taking one of Ben’s hands and guiding the other to rest on his hip.

Lucky for Ben, years’ worth of ingrained dance routines chose that moment to finally kick in. Relying more on muscle memory than on conscious action, he let Hux pull him into the circle and the music take over his body.

It was as if he’d stepped into a dream, into that kind of fairy tale where woodland sprites would lure careless travellers into dance. Hux’s brilliant eyes were the only clear light in the haze, the feeling of his smooth skin under Ben’s palms the only definite sensation. It must have been a dream, Ben thought dazedly, to see Hux - his Hux - transformed so completely with nothing more than a low drumming rhythm, music soft and seductive like candlelight and heartbeat.

When they danced, sometimes - and contrary to what some might guess, Hux wasn’t half bad at it - Hux was usually, perhaps out of habit, in the lead. It was easier for Ben to switch the sides, especially with the simple dances that seemed to be the limit of Hux’s knowledge - waltz, tango, swing. This was _nothing_ like that.

This Hux was soft and pliant, the skin of his bare arms glowing in the dim lighting. The fine dusting of freckles shone like specks of gold on his shoulders. His hair fell loosely into his eyes, not slicked back and held together with gel and formality. The shape of his lean body was on display, not hidden as usual inside the buttoned up armor of a padded and flatteringly cut three piece suit. The outline of his ribs was palpable beneath the clinging fabric of the tanktop, his waist fit exactly into the cradle of Ben’s joined hands, there was a sliver of soft pale stomach peeking from under the top whenever Hux lifted his arms.

This Hux was following Ben’s lead as if it was his second nature, body molded to the music, yielding to every nudge and pull. Someone, Ben wondered, must have taught Hux all Ben’s favourite figures because now Hux was reacting to his hints as if they’d choreographed together for weeks. A light tug on his fingers and he’d go spinning under Ben’s arm, palms slipped under his arms and he’d lean his weight into them, fingers closed around hipbones and he’d push himself off the floor and into a lift, fearless, trusting.

Ben always loved modern zouk. He liked the flow of undulating hips and counterpoint steps, liked the look of worship on the faces of dancers watching their partners as they spun around them. He liked the slightly possessive streak of palms pressing lightly on napes, of hands wrapped around shoulders and bending their partners like a reed in the wind. He enjoyed teaching it to couples, never saying no the occasional show he’d put on with one partner or another, as a demonstration. But never did he imagine how much better it would be to dance zouk with the love of his life.

Ben didn’t know which was better, to admire Hux’s long and graceful steps as the dance figures took them apart or to feel his lithe and warm body pressed against him, sensual and teasing.The wide open handhold they’ve started with gradually grew tighter. Ben wasn’t able to resist getting closer to Hux, drawn in like a moth to a flame. Distantly he registered the song nearing its end. In a futile attempt to try and preserve the spell, he pulled Hux into an embrace, swaying and trapping him in the cage of his arms.

Lips curled into a smile, soft exhale caressing his cheek and Hux slid down almost to his knees, palms tracing the contours of Ben’s back and nuzzling his face into Ben’s chest as he went. Laughing silently at the sneaky escape attempt, Ben caught him under the arms and hauled him back up before the crowd could start cat-calling. With a couple of swift steps, he navigated them through the rest of the song. The last tones found them with Hux’s back against the nearest wall of mirrors, Ben looming over Hux, close enough to breathe each other’s air.

Ben didn’t want this moment to end. Hux was so beautiful. Breathing hard, flush high on his cheeks and eyes sparkling, strands of hair, coppery dark with sweat, clung to his temples. Ben felt nimble fingers dance up his nape and then push, just a little - and his whole body sagged, burying his face in Hux’s neck and filling his lungs with his scent, salt and cologne and love.

There was clapping, and whistling and whooping, too, while the DJ put on another song. Ben didn’t care. He felt like bursting with emotion. If he was any good with words, he’d pour his feelings into poetry - but he was a dancer, only able to express himself through music and motion. And Hux had met him halfway in this. Hux had ventured out of his comfort zone, overcome his natural reservations, spent God knows how many hours training - just to show Ben how much he loved him, in a language Ben could understand best. Ben didn’t know if it was possible to love someone any more than he loved Hux, right now.

“Happy birthday,” he heard a whisper in his ear. Ben blinked away the prickle of salt and surreptitiously rubbed his eyes to wipe away any wetness before he lifted his head to look Hux in the face. From the equally fond and amused smile on his husband’s lips he immediately knew that his act had been seen through. Ben’s answering grin was still a bit watery. He didn’t trust his tongue enough to say anything coherent, let alone clever, but he felt like he had to try.

“What did I do to deserve you?” And there it was. The cheesiest thing to say, as usual. Ben would groan at himself. He meant it - he always meant everything he was saying but why he couldn’t find the right words for the things he wanted to say?

Hux laughed and pulled him back into his arms. “You just happened,” he said confidently. He grasped Ben’s left hand and traced the outline of his wedding ring, like the familiar shape of a talisman.

“And the way you are, everything that makes you _\- you_ ,” at this point Hux grinned a bit ruefully himself, as if irked by his own clumsily worded declaration, “that’s what makes you perfect for me. We might have met by pure chance or luck, but I’m keeping you.”

“Chance and luck, they say,” rang a voice behind Ben, in the unmistakable tone of a very unimpressed Rey Solo. She clapped Techie’s shoulder. “Hi Luck, I’m Chance.”

“Hey!” Ben turned - only halfway, as he still clung to Hux. “I distinctly remember you two setting us up to fight, not to date.”

“I’m still not above taking all the credit,” Rey sniffed, lifting her chin. “Especially seeing how well it turned out for you, big brother. Happy birthday.” She mock-punched his shoulder and then linked her arm with Techie’s.

“Just wanted to tell you Riz and Manu are taking us home,” she announced. Ben nodded gratefully. It was technically his duty to deliver Rey safely back home but right now he wanted to dance with his husband - not necessarily zouk again, just to hold him close and feel Hux’s heartbeat against his own.

The music carried on, sweet and merry and seductive, people danced and laughed around them, and yet, with his hand on Hux’s hip and Hux’s palm pressed firm against his heart, Ben felt - for now - as if they were all alone.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> We have [ this video ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6PY4SNiPoc) to blame for the existence of this fic. Just... we found it and thought: "...... Benarmie."
> 
> Also we technically wrote a songfic. What year is this, again?


End file.
